Why Stronger Relationships Will Lead You to Live Longer

If you’re reading this, you probably want to live a longer. I mean, other than prisoners in a Japanese POW camp, who doesn’t want to see another day?

We can all agree that diet, exercise and avoiding submersibles that take you to see the Titanic wreckage are all great ways to prolong your life. But it turns out that meaningful friendships may actually be one of the best thing to prolong your time here on earth.

What the Wizardry of Friendships Does for Longevity

Research shows that satisfying relationships with family, friends, and community significantly contribute to our happiness, overall health, and lifespan. People who enjoy strong social ties have fewer health issues and live longer. Conversely, the absence of these connections is linked to increased risk of depression, cognitive decline in later life, and even higher mortality. One study found that lack of strong relationships increased the risk of premature death from all causes by 50% — an effect on mortality risk roughly comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and greater than obesity and physical inactivity.

What makes social connections so vital for our health? Scientists suggest it might be the stress relief that comes from positive interactions, which can reduce adverse effects on our coronary arteries, gut function, insulin regulation, and immune system. Furthermore, caring behaviors can stimulate the release of stress-reducing hormones. Thus, both giving and receiving social support can extend our lives and improve our health.

I personally find it crazy how general stress can affect the body. It can make you lose your hair. It can kill your immune system. Song lyrics aside, it isn’t uncommon for elderly people to die shortly thereafter losing their spouse.

I wonder what this will mean for us millennial gamers when we start pushing 90+ and most of our friends IRL are dead. Will gaming friendships help us live forever?

The Importance of Relationship Quality and Variety

The quality of our relationships plays a crucial role in our health. Research has linked highly satisfying marriages and similar relationships to a lower risk of cardiovascular disease. Now my only question is - Does this mean that having a stressful wife will give you an increased chance of heart attack?

Negative interactions, in contrast, can lead to poorer health. Furthermore, a varied network of meaningful relationships can lower the risk of dementia, as shown in a large Swedish study.

Long-Term Study Backs Up the Importance of Relationships

One of the world's longest studies of adult life, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, offers some beautiful insights into the importance that relationships play on our long term health. This study has tracked the health of 268 Harvard sophomores since 1938, revealing that close relationships are what keep people happy throughout their lives.

The findings show that satisfying relationships can protect people from life's discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long, happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.

Here are the craziest learnings from the study:

• At age 50, relationship satisfaction was a better predictor of physical health than cholesterol was

• Those with good social support (i.e. friends) suffered less cognitive decline

• Partners who could really depend on each other retained memories better despite how much they bitched (I’m clearly paraphrasing)

• People who were most satisfied with their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest 30 years later

• Marrying someone you have a lot of stuff in common with has a high likelihood of prolonging your lifespan, even more so than your genetics (such as profession, interests etc.)

• Chronic stress is just about as bad as having a crappy diet and lack of exercise

Marital satisfaction was also found to be a protective factor for mental health. Individuals with happy marriages in their 80s reported that their moods didn't suffer even on the days when they had more physical pain.

"Loneliness kills," says Waldinger. It's as powerful as smoking or alcoholism. Those with strong social support experienced less mental deterioration as they aged.

What do I do with this information?

Want to make it actionable? Alright, I’ll make you a damn list.

1. Prioritize important relationships.

2. Stay socially active and engage with community.

3. Practice stress management.

4. Call your friends & family more often, especially the lonely ones.

5. Don’t date/marry someone that stresses you out all the time. Bickering is apparently not bad for health, as long as you know you’ve got each others backs when it matters, you’ll live long (or so they say).

6. Cut out toxic people.

A good place to start is by spending more time with the people you value the most. Do something kind for them. Unreasonably kind.

No one ever looks back on their life thinking, man that nice thing I did really stressed me out and had a heart attack. I don’t think. Don’t fact check me.

Alternatively, if there are people in your life who bring you stress, maybe it’s time to spend less time with them. yolo. Toxic people suck.

Sorry grandma, you’re f*&^n’ out and I’m f*&^n’ in!

In Summary:

• Relationships and social engagement significantly influence our longevity, often more so than genetic factors.

• The Harvard Study of Adult Development revealed that close relationships, rather than genetic makeup or wealth, lead to lifelong happiness and health.

• Genetics account for way less of your expected lifespan than you think.

• Assortative mating (choosing partners with similar characteristics) impacts longevity more than genetics.

• Even supercentenarians (people who live 100+ years) may need more than good genes for happiness; relationships remain key.

• Prioritizing social bonds and lifestyle factors can help us live longer, healthier lives.

• By maintaining better relationships, you are happier. Happier people live longer.

• The power of friendships can do a lot for you but they can’t un-implode your submarine at the bottom of the ocean.

References:

1. "Strengthen relationships for longer, healthier life" Retrieved from www.health.harvard.edu

2. "Good genes are nice, but joy is better." Retrieved from news.harvard.edu

3. “Research shows it’s relationships, not genetics that lengthen your life” from Deseret News

I hope ya’ll enjoyed todays deep dive. Share this with a friend if you want to live longer :)